On a weekend trip to Missoula this past weekend my best friends mom called and asked why I was in Missoula when I just left 4 day earlier. I responded that I got sick of Helena. And her response was of course you did you don't have 2.5 children and aren't married.
That got me thinking...does it take being married and having your 2.5 children to maintain happiness in this town. I love driving into the valley when I come home for the holidays, but after a week of being here I am ready to leave. I never thought it could be because Helena caters to couples and not singles. Its true that the older generation here in Helena is like a soap opera. Couple B divorces at the same time as couples A, C, D, and F and soon all the couples have found an equation where they are dating so and so's ex. And soon they remarry and have their 2.5 kids plus their spouses 2.5 kids. So now they really are one big happy family.
So where does the 20 something single Helena native fit into this picture...well they don't. That is the problem. That is why something like Octoberfest at the fairgrounds brings out Helena's finest single folk. It gives them an excuse to drink and hit on girls that aren't going to push them away because they too are drunk. As one friend said to me Friday night as I walked into the Octoberfest tent, "wanna find some hot guys?!" I looked at her and almost said, "yeah where are we gonna go for that?!" Instead I suggested we go and dance to the wonderful polka/country/rock music being played on the stage. So that is what happens to those single 20-somethings they kind of blend into the same group as the older generation divorcees.
That said, I am not into any of that. If I go out I wanna have a good time, but remember the night. I want to wake up with a clear head and a conscious recollection of what I did the night before. I want to have life remain to be an adventure. And settling down into "Helena" life just won't do it for me.
28.9.04
23.9.04
Montana Life
It has been good being home. I have realized many of my childhood friends have left this town to find bigger and better adventures. And some are back on sabbatical, and then there are the ones that just love Helena and will never leave (however, they are few and far between). I have seen a few good friends and that has been nice to catch up. I have also met new friends. Its kind of weird to do so as I live in a foreign country and will be departing soon, but it is also refreshing to get new perspectives and receive new outlooks on life. I had one such friend tell me he thought there were too many liberals in the world, and he thought conscription was a good idea. And after a mild discussion we realized that we both felt strongly about opposing views however, it was nice having a educated discussion about both.
It is also through these new friendships I hope to grow. I hope that they remain and do not dim. Friendship is so important to me. It is right up there with God, and family. I don't think I could live without all my hundreds of friends in the world. And each of them has played a major roll in my life and for that I am thankful. I am also thankful for those 'new' friends who are willing to take a risk and be friends with someone who is leaving the country. That is such an honour to me. So to all my friends out there THANK YOU!
I guess its just like the old nursery rhyme went: Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver and one is gold. Only to me all my friends are gold.
It is also through these new friendships I hope to grow. I hope that they remain and do not dim. Friendship is so important to me. It is right up there with God, and family. I don't think I could live without all my hundreds of friends in the world. And each of them has played a major roll in my life and for that I am thankful. I am also thankful for those 'new' friends who are willing to take a risk and be friends with someone who is leaving the country. That is such an honour to me. So to all my friends out there THANK YOU!
I guess its just like the old nursery rhyme went: Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver and one is gold. Only to me all my friends are gold.
21.9.04
Long time no write
So life has been quite busy lately. My bestest friend in the entire world got married last Saturday and it was amazing. I think it was the number one wedding, everything went on without a hitch. But being her maid of honour who lives 3000 miles away I decided that I should put a little more effort into the role so I stayed in Missoula for a little longer than a week to help with last minute stuff. It was quite stressful at times but I can only imagine what Hillary felt. Overall, it was a blast, and the end result was flawless. (Thanks Hillary O. for the privilege to be part of such an amazing event.)
Now I am in Helena again, just chillin and relaxing. I think since it's sunny I might go for a run in the woods (I haven't exercised at all since I have been here) then I might go for lunch. It's kind of weird not having anything that HAS to be done. But also nice as well. I venture off to Seattle in the not so distant future and can't wait to see old friends. It should be nice. Then it is back to Derry to figure out what I am going to do with my life. Until then I just get to hang out and smell the roses. Oh the life.
Now I am in Helena again, just chillin and relaxing. I think since it's sunny I might go for a run in the woods (I haven't exercised at all since I have been here) then I might go for lunch. It's kind of weird not having anything that HAS to be done. But also nice as well. I venture off to Seattle in the not so distant future and can't wait to see old friends. It should be nice. Then it is back to Derry to figure out what I am going to do with my life. Until then I just get to hang out and smell the roses. Oh the life.
4.9.04
Home...sweet?....Home
Well here I am back in the ol' US of A. And I am a bit overwhelmed. Besides being a bit culture shocked I haven't got much sleep due to deep convos with the sister, and jet lag. Gotta love it. Now I have a 12 hour drive from Denver to Helena tomorrow and oh how I am looking forward to it. Or not.
Actually it will be nice having some alone time and just chillin in the car. I find driving one of the most relaxing things in the world. So hopefully it will help prepare me for what lies ahead. Since I envision my life being madness and mahem the next month.
On a happier note than my last couple blogs, I found out I got a stipend from the Support Fund at Uni so when I return to Derry I won't have to stess about rent and bills straight away. So that has been a nice bonus. Now I just need to start getting things together for this internship/placement in October. I can't wait.
Well I will sign off for now, still 2 more states 3 towns/cities to occupy before I venture off to the emerald isle.
Actually it will be nice having some alone time and just chillin in the car. I find driving one of the most relaxing things in the world. So hopefully it will help prepare me for what lies ahead. Since I envision my life being madness and mahem the next month.
On a happier note than my last couple blogs, I found out I got a stipend from the Support Fund at Uni so when I return to Derry I won't have to stess about rent and bills straight away. So that has been a nice bonus. Now I just need to start getting things together for this internship/placement in October. I can't wait.
Well I will sign off for now, still 2 more states 3 towns/cities to occupy before I venture off to the emerald isle.
29.8.04
Almost Home
Well here it is and I will be states side in 4 days and counting. I can't wait, but I am a wee bit sad to leave this town. Its great. But I am dying to get back to Montana and see family and friends.
I must say I am thankful for all of you who put your 2 cents into my blog. Its weird knowing that what you think and feel is being read by others, but its so nice to get words of encouragement from those around you. I am truly blessed with some of the best friends and family a girl could ask for. And I guess that is worth a lot more than any dollar or currency. I once told my parents (when they were stressing about their debt) that I didn't care if we were homeless as long as we were all together and loved each other deeply I would be happy. And I think that holds true today. I guess being homeless wouldn't be so bad, because I know that I have love and God on my side, and that makes for a powerful team.
I also heard an interesting message in church this morning. Andrew was using the story of Joseph to demonstrate his sermon and he kept asking 'are you living your wildest dream or your worst nightmare?' Well that got me thinking....I AM living my wildest dream (0r one of them) by being here in Ireland. And then Andrew continued by saying that like Joseph things will get rough.... you can live your wildest dream but at times it may seem like your worst nightmare. And I guess that is where I am at now...a low point what seems like my worst nightmare but really and truly its my wildest dream. So this is a shout out to all you who have encouraged me and supported me! Thanx!
Also in other news Clementine has continued to make more Brilliant contacts in the world! I met my hero and roll model Hillary Clinton. I also met Gerry Adams and Martin McGuinness. So this year alone I have met all 3 presidents of the EU (one who is prime minister of Ireland...what they call the Taoiseach) So I feel on top of the world to say the least. Life is good money or none!
Again thanks for all your love and support no matter how far away we are!
I must say I am thankful for all of you who put your 2 cents into my blog. Its weird knowing that what you think and feel is being read by others, but its so nice to get words of encouragement from those around you. I am truly blessed with some of the best friends and family a girl could ask for. And I guess that is worth a lot more than any dollar or currency. I once told my parents (when they were stressing about their debt) that I didn't care if we were homeless as long as we were all together and loved each other deeply I would be happy. And I think that holds true today. I guess being homeless wouldn't be so bad, because I know that I have love and God on my side, and that makes for a powerful team.
I also heard an interesting message in church this morning. Andrew was using the story of Joseph to demonstrate his sermon and he kept asking 'are you living your wildest dream or your worst nightmare?' Well that got me thinking....I AM living my wildest dream (0r one of them) by being here in Ireland. And then Andrew continued by saying that like Joseph things will get rough.... you can live your wildest dream but at times it may seem like your worst nightmare. And I guess that is where I am at now...a low point what seems like my worst nightmare but really and truly its my wildest dream. So this is a shout out to all you who have encouraged me and supported me! Thanx!
Also in other news Clementine has continued to make more Brilliant contacts in the world! I met my hero and roll model Hillary Clinton. I also met Gerry Adams and Martin McGuinness. So this year alone I have met all 3 presidents of the EU (one who is prime minister of Ireland...what they call the Taoiseach) So I feel on top of the world to say the least. Life is good money or none!
Again thanks for all your love and support no matter how far away we are!
23.8.04
Money Matters
Yes I am here...I know many of you (if anyone really reads this) thought I may have dropped off the face of the earth, but alas I am here. Life has been boring to say the least, but there have been moments of excitement to curtail the bordom. Like last week there was a flood in Derry and the city centre was flooded with 3 feet of water. The bar I have worked in all summer closed and is still in rennovation processes due to flood damage (17 ft H2O in the basement). Then the week before the Chinese resturant next to a local pub exploded at 9:15 in the morning due to a gas leak. So that was kinda crazy.
But more than anything life seems to be getting crazy at the moment. Due to the flood I have been out of work a week early and will make a £100 less than I should have. So that sucks. And I have all sorts of fees to pay... nothing too extream just a credit card bill, a plane ticket back to Ireland, and a fee for changing the date of my out bound journey. A minor $1000 or so....right....minor when you know you have an income. And to top things off my student visa expires the 30th of Sept, and it is too late for me to apply for an extension, and when I return I won't be granted a new student visa due to "Ireland" not being the same country as "Northern Ireland" So pretty much I have to spend more money to visit a friend in Paris or Germany just to get a valid student visa which will allow me to work. I just wish I could sit back and relax. And just enjoy the view...but I can't I have to stay one step a head. I feel like I should be like other 24-25 year olds and have a stable job/income, and not going to college.
It would also help if everyone here wasn't so ignorant. Like I finally got the guts to ask for some financial assitance from the Support office, and then was belittled asking how I expected to fund my education with only a £3000 budget. I just wish this all would get cleared up and I would somehow just have a couple grand in my bank acount no strings attached. Wouldn't that be nice. I am sick of being in debt(which is unfortunately a permanent reality for me) and I am sick of people thinking that ALL Americans are rich!
Some of us aren't and have to fight to get what we want and dream of. I feel like I am drowning and have to tread water to stay alive. But the longer I tread the more tired I get. And the more tired I am the less I want to try. I am inclined to just give up throw up my hands and throw the towel in....and gracefully walk away while my dignity is still in tact. Like the British marathon runner who just had to quit at the 36km. That is exactly how I feel. I just want to quit at the 36km when there are only 4 remaining. I am sick of fighting this fight, and I am sick of following the financial pattern of my family. I want to be financially stable and independant. Debt free, or at least debt controlled.
I guess there isn't much that can be done other than keep my head high and hope and pray that I am doing god's will.
Thats me signing off.
But more than anything life seems to be getting crazy at the moment. Due to the flood I have been out of work a week early and will make a £100 less than I should have. So that sucks. And I have all sorts of fees to pay... nothing too extream just a credit card bill, a plane ticket back to Ireland, and a fee for changing the date of my out bound journey. A minor $1000 or so....right....minor when you know you have an income. And to top things off my student visa expires the 30th of Sept, and it is too late for me to apply for an extension, and when I return I won't be granted a new student visa due to "Ireland" not being the same country as "Northern Ireland" So pretty much I have to spend more money to visit a friend in Paris or Germany just to get a valid student visa which will allow me to work. I just wish I could sit back and relax. And just enjoy the view...but I can't I have to stay one step a head. I feel like I should be like other 24-25 year olds and have a stable job/income, and not going to college.
It would also help if everyone here wasn't so ignorant. Like I finally got the guts to ask for some financial assitance from the Support office, and then was belittled asking how I expected to fund my education with only a £3000 budget. I just wish this all would get cleared up and I would somehow just have a couple grand in my bank acount no strings attached. Wouldn't that be nice. I am sick of being in debt(which is unfortunately a permanent reality for me) and I am sick of people thinking that ALL Americans are rich!
Some of us aren't and have to fight to get what we want and dream of. I feel like I am drowning and have to tread water to stay alive. But the longer I tread the more tired I get. And the more tired I am the less I want to try. I am inclined to just give up throw up my hands and throw the towel in....and gracefully walk away while my dignity is still in tact. Like the British marathon runner who just had to quit at the 36km. That is exactly how I feel. I just want to quit at the 36km when there are only 4 remaining. I am sick of fighting this fight, and I am sick of following the financial pattern of my family. I want to be financially stable and independant. Debt free, or at least debt controlled.
I guess there isn't much that can be done other than keep my head high and hope and pray that I am doing god's will.
Thats me signing off.
9.8.04
Thoughts
So I was at work Saturday night and was tired and grumpy, with a migrane on top. I started thinking...and I had a great idea for a blog, but then I woke up yesterday still tired and not so grumpy and couldn't remember. Now its Monday and I still can't remember this great blog topic. Maybe tonight at work I'll remember.
Lets see I don't know what to say here on this ever so interesting blog. I had a busy week last week I went to Galway, then was back for 2 days (worked) left for Belfast on Wed and Dublin on Thurs. and returned to Derry for work on Friday. Whew just talking about it nearly exhausts me. Life is good here. I just am working and now starting to begin my dissertation. I go home in 3 weeks and am quite excited for another journey back to the States, this one thankfully will be longer and more diverse. I start in Denver to visit the sister. Then drive to Montana for Hillary's weddng (www.hillandmick.com) then will fly to Seattle and celebrate the big 25 with my friends there. Then shortly after I hit that mid-20's mark I fly back to Ireland to finish that dissertation and figure out what the future holds for me.
I know this isn't a profound insightful blog, rather an update. Oh well. I'm not using my brain today...its on holidays.
Lets see I don't know what to say here on this ever so interesting blog. I had a busy week last week I went to Galway, then was back for 2 days (worked) left for Belfast on Wed and Dublin on Thurs. and returned to Derry for work on Friday. Whew just talking about it nearly exhausts me. Life is good here. I just am working and now starting to begin my dissertation. I go home in 3 weeks and am quite excited for another journey back to the States, this one thankfully will be longer and more diverse. I start in Denver to visit the sister. Then drive to Montana for Hillary's weddng (www.hillandmick.com) then will fly to Seattle and celebrate the big 25 with my friends there. Then shortly after I hit that mid-20's mark I fly back to Ireland to finish that dissertation and figure out what the future holds for me.
I know this isn't a profound insightful blog, rather an update. Oh well. I'm not using my brain today...its on holidays.
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