Changes

So life is ever changing. I swear just when I think I have got it all figured out God sends me a fast pitch and knocks me down.

If you read my Blog a couple weeks ago, I talked about the stupid test I had to take. Well I took it (4th times a charm right?!). I failed, not just part like I had in the past...but the whole stinking thing. So I am now questioning whether or not I should be in the insurance industry. Not really the career path I was intending...So now life is changing again.

Mediation seems more and more like the path I want to take. I have been in discussion with some folks over in the Pacific Northwest talking about doing some training over in that area and perhaps seeing what is out there job wise.

Who knows. But I do know that its been nearly a year. I love Helena but I am starting to get restless here.

So until next time...I'll just be restless in Montana (I think being sleepless in Seattle would be better at this moment).

Interesting

I received this from a friend in Turkey today, and it got me thinking. Although sort of childish...VERY true.

Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
Who calls you back when you hang up on him.
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."

I think I like the idea of the boy kissing my forehead. It makes me smile.

Birthday Photos!

The weekend was fabulous. Full of friends and good times. I couldn't have been happier or had more fun.

The Cake

After all I am kind of a big deal...people know me!

Jayne and Nat


smiley girls.


Hiiii-Yah!

Birthday Weekend

I would post pictures of the amazing 26th birthday but alas the cord has been lost to transfer the photos from camera to computer. So those will follow soon. I will get a cord somehow.

Overall the weekend was amazing. I couldn't have asked for a better party with better friends. I had a few friends come from Bozeman, a couple come from Missoula and a couple venture up from Dillon. So all in all is was a blast.

Pictures will come soon I promise!

Slogan time

You want a slogan for your name? Well check this out.

Here is mine:

How Do You Eat Your Clementine?

On a happier note

I turn 26 in 4 days!!!! YAY!!!

Inadequacy

Is there ever a point in someone's life where inadequacy seems like it is the norm and the expected. I have never thought that and wouldn't except that is just how I feel at the moment. I feel as though I could give my 110% and it still isn't enough. Some how I am still falling short.

Part of what brings this on is my inability to pass my state insurance licensing exam. I have failed 3 times....yes count them...3...1,2,3. I have never failed anything more than once. And I am usually one to learn from mistakes but somehow I just can't pass. I study, and to no avail.

I have been asked by some if it is because I am too busy, which could be the case. But I can't manage to live with out my second job. Ok that is a lie...I could manage but I couldn't pay off my debt or begin to pay off my student loans with out this second job. Which then brings me to my thought...should I be doing what I am doing? I love the company I work for, and I couldn't imagine anything more enjoyable at the moment that pays this well. BUT...and this is a huge BUT...should I be putting this much effort and time into something I am just not sure I can complete successfully?! I just don't know. I am at a loss. I don't know how to send those thoughts of inadequacy to their time out in the corner.

I am fine when I don't think about studying or the test but then I let my mind wander and I feel horrible, I feel like a failure, I feel like just not showing up to work anymore because I have too much dignity to get to the point where the 'let me go'.

So for now I will rehash all that is going on through out my mind. Try to sort it out, and hope and pray for the best.