Who in their right mind would write 15,000 words on one subject. ME! I am trying to do this dissertation and have managed to do NOTHING! I have been in Ireland now for a week and have managed to aquire a cold, a place to stay (My wonderful housemates are letting me stay with them for the next months. I feel quite lucky. It makes life so much easier. So life is going well here. I just have to get my butt in gear for this silly silly paper. It MUST get done!
11.10.04
10.10.04
Life
In the last month my life has been twisted upsidedown. I have changed all plans that at one time I thought were set, God has placed in my life some very special people who make being away hard. And just recently I discovered I do not desire or am I able to call Ireland home any longer. It may someday be home, but for now it is not. I love my friends here. They have been wonderful, and I will always be there for them. However, at this time I need to be there for my friends in America.
For all of you who are unaware I will return home in December and will be back in Helena until I can get my feet off the ground (or the debt off my credit card)and then the adventure of Clementine will begin again. I don't know where it will take me or what it will provide but I do know that I am ready.
I walk down the streets of Derry and it isn't home any longer. I haven't been to Galway yet, but I think it would be the same there. I have many friends here, and some of them are getting married as well. And I plan on supporting them in their lives, but for now I must support myself and do what feels right and that is returning to Montana for a brief bit (Yes I know I never thought I would hear those words uttered from my mouth) and continue on to achieve my life goals. I have created many new ones in recent months and just await the opportunity to conquer them. Nothing is impossible. It just takes time. And right now I seem to have plenty of it!
For all of you who are unaware I will return home in December and will be back in Helena until I can get my feet off the ground (or the debt off my credit card)and then the adventure of Clementine will begin again. I don't know where it will take me or what it will provide but I do know that I am ready.
I walk down the streets of Derry and it isn't home any longer. I haven't been to Galway yet, but I think it would be the same there. I have many friends here, and some of them are getting married as well. And I plan on supporting them in their lives, but for now I must support myself and do what feels right and that is returning to Montana for a brief bit (Yes I know I never thought I would hear those words uttered from my mouth) and continue on to achieve my life goals. I have created many new ones in recent months and just await the opportunity to conquer them. Nothing is impossible. It just takes time. And right now I seem to have plenty of it!
3.10.04
The Big 2-5
Yes Folks this is it...Clementine is now officially 25 years of age. A quarter century old, halfway to 50. And to be honest it feels GREAT! I have been able to celebrate with very good friends and I even go Kerry/Bush cupcakes made on my birthday for the Debate! They were very cool! Now I am wrapping up my trip here to the States and Seattle, and am trying to pump myself up for Ireland.
I love Ireland, and have amazing friends there, but I have finally grown into my skin here in the States. I am OK living here now. I don't feel as though I NEED to be in Ireland forever, instead I am comfortable being close to family and friends. And the plane journey to Ireland isn't too bad. So slowly I am embracing my Americaness. Not yet at the stage where I would wave an American flag and shout my nationality but a state where I am comfortable with my nation (perhaps not its leaders) and myself.
But for now I have 10 weeks until I come back state side, and although that isn't very long time at all it seems like a life time right now. I am sure my mind set will change once my plane lands Wednesday morning and I am able to see good friends and stop living out of a suit case. Then Ireland may be "home" again.
I guess only time will tell. I am excited to see where this new adventure will take me, I am ready to conquer the next big 2-5...look out 50 here I come!!!
I love Ireland, and have amazing friends there, but I have finally grown into my skin here in the States. I am OK living here now. I don't feel as though I NEED to be in Ireland forever, instead I am comfortable being close to family and friends. And the plane journey to Ireland isn't too bad. So slowly I am embracing my Americaness. Not yet at the stage where I would wave an American flag and shout my nationality but a state where I am comfortable with my nation (perhaps not its leaders) and myself.
But for now I have 10 weeks until I come back state side, and although that isn't very long time at all it seems like a life time right now. I am sure my mind set will change once my plane lands Wednesday morning and I am able to see good friends and stop living out of a suit case. Then Ireland may be "home" again.
I guess only time will tell. I am excited to see where this new adventure will take me, I am ready to conquer the next big 2-5...look out 50 here I come!!!
28.9.04
What makes Helena
On a weekend trip to Missoula this past weekend my best friends mom called and asked why I was in Missoula when I just left 4 day earlier. I responded that I got sick of Helena. And her response was of course you did you don't have 2.5 children and aren't married.
That got me thinking...does it take being married and having your 2.5 children to maintain happiness in this town. I love driving into the valley when I come home for the holidays, but after a week of being here I am ready to leave. I never thought it could be because Helena caters to couples and not singles. Its true that the older generation here in Helena is like a soap opera. Couple B divorces at the same time as couples A, C, D, and F and soon all the couples have found an equation where they are dating so and so's ex. And soon they remarry and have their 2.5 kids plus their spouses 2.5 kids. So now they really are one big happy family.
So where does the 20 something single Helena native fit into this picture...well they don't. That is the problem. That is why something like Octoberfest at the fairgrounds brings out Helena's finest single folk. It gives them an excuse to drink and hit on girls that aren't going to push them away because they too are drunk. As one friend said to me Friday night as I walked into the Octoberfest tent, "wanna find some hot guys?!" I looked at her and almost said, "yeah where are we gonna go for that?!" Instead I suggested we go and dance to the wonderful polka/country/rock music being played on the stage. So that is what happens to those single 20-somethings they kind of blend into the same group as the older generation divorcees.
That said, I am not into any of that. If I go out I wanna have a good time, but remember the night. I want to wake up with a clear head and a conscious recollection of what I did the night before. I want to have life remain to be an adventure. And settling down into "Helena" life just won't do it for me.
That got me thinking...does it take being married and having your 2.5 children to maintain happiness in this town. I love driving into the valley when I come home for the holidays, but after a week of being here I am ready to leave. I never thought it could be because Helena caters to couples and not singles. Its true that the older generation here in Helena is like a soap opera. Couple B divorces at the same time as couples A, C, D, and F and soon all the couples have found an equation where they are dating so and so's ex. And soon they remarry and have their 2.5 kids plus their spouses 2.5 kids. So now they really are one big happy family.
So where does the 20 something single Helena native fit into this picture...well they don't. That is the problem. That is why something like Octoberfest at the fairgrounds brings out Helena's finest single folk. It gives them an excuse to drink and hit on girls that aren't going to push them away because they too are drunk. As one friend said to me Friday night as I walked into the Octoberfest tent, "wanna find some hot guys?!" I looked at her and almost said, "yeah where are we gonna go for that?!" Instead I suggested we go and dance to the wonderful polka/country/rock music being played on the stage. So that is what happens to those single 20-somethings they kind of blend into the same group as the older generation divorcees.
That said, I am not into any of that. If I go out I wanna have a good time, but remember the night. I want to wake up with a clear head and a conscious recollection of what I did the night before. I want to have life remain to be an adventure. And settling down into "Helena" life just won't do it for me.
23.9.04
Montana Life
It has been good being home. I have realized many of my childhood friends have left this town to find bigger and better adventures. And some are back on sabbatical, and then there are the ones that just love Helena and will never leave (however, they are few and far between). I have seen a few good friends and that has been nice to catch up. I have also met new friends. Its kind of weird to do so as I live in a foreign country and will be departing soon, but it is also refreshing to get new perspectives and receive new outlooks on life. I had one such friend tell me he thought there were too many liberals in the world, and he thought conscription was a good idea. And after a mild discussion we realized that we both felt strongly about opposing views however, it was nice having a educated discussion about both.
It is also through these new friendships I hope to grow. I hope that they remain and do not dim. Friendship is so important to me. It is right up there with God, and family. I don't think I could live without all my hundreds of friends in the world. And each of them has played a major roll in my life and for that I am thankful. I am also thankful for those 'new' friends who are willing to take a risk and be friends with someone who is leaving the country. That is such an honour to me. So to all my friends out there THANK YOU!
I guess its just like the old nursery rhyme went: Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver and one is gold. Only to me all my friends are gold.
It is also through these new friendships I hope to grow. I hope that they remain and do not dim. Friendship is so important to me. It is right up there with God, and family. I don't think I could live without all my hundreds of friends in the world. And each of them has played a major roll in my life and for that I am thankful. I am also thankful for those 'new' friends who are willing to take a risk and be friends with someone who is leaving the country. That is such an honour to me. So to all my friends out there THANK YOU!
I guess its just like the old nursery rhyme went: Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver and one is gold. Only to me all my friends are gold.
21.9.04
Long time no write
So life has been quite busy lately. My bestest friend in the entire world got married last Saturday and it was amazing. I think it was the number one wedding, everything went on without a hitch. But being her maid of honour who lives 3000 miles away I decided that I should put a little more effort into the role so I stayed in Missoula for a little longer than a week to help with last minute stuff. It was quite stressful at times but I can only imagine what Hillary felt. Overall, it was a blast, and the end result was flawless. (Thanks Hillary O. for the privilege to be part of such an amazing event.)
Now I am in Helena again, just chillin and relaxing. I think since it's sunny I might go for a run in the woods (I haven't exercised at all since I have been here) then I might go for lunch. It's kind of weird not having anything that HAS to be done. But also nice as well. I venture off to Seattle in the not so distant future and can't wait to see old friends. It should be nice. Then it is back to Derry to figure out what I am going to do with my life. Until then I just get to hang out and smell the roses. Oh the life.
Now I am in Helena again, just chillin and relaxing. I think since it's sunny I might go for a run in the woods (I haven't exercised at all since I have been here) then I might go for lunch. It's kind of weird not having anything that HAS to be done. But also nice as well. I venture off to Seattle in the not so distant future and can't wait to see old friends. It should be nice. Then it is back to Derry to figure out what I am going to do with my life. Until then I just get to hang out and smell the roses. Oh the life.
4.9.04
Home...sweet?....Home
Well here I am back in the ol' US of A. And I am a bit overwhelmed. Besides being a bit culture shocked I haven't got much sleep due to deep convos with the sister, and jet lag. Gotta love it. Now I have a 12 hour drive from Denver to Helena tomorrow and oh how I am looking forward to it. Or not.
Actually it will be nice having some alone time and just chillin in the car. I find driving one of the most relaxing things in the world. So hopefully it will help prepare me for what lies ahead. Since I envision my life being madness and mahem the next month.
On a happier note than my last couple blogs, I found out I got a stipend from the Support Fund at Uni so when I return to Derry I won't have to stess about rent and bills straight away. So that has been a nice bonus. Now I just need to start getting things together for this internship/placement in October. I can't wait.
Well I will sign off for now, still 2 more states 3 towns/cities to occupy before I venture off to the emerald isle.
Actually it will be nice having some alone time and just chillin in the car. I find driving one of the most relaxing things in the world. So hopefully it will help prepare me for what lies ahead. Since I envision my life being madness and mahem the next month.
On a happier note than my last couple blogs, I found out I got a stipend from the Support Fund at Uni so when I return to Derry I won't have to stess about rent and bills straight away. So that has been a nice bonus. Now I just need to start getting things together for this internship/placement in October. I can't wait.
Well I will sign off for now, still 2 more states 3 towns/cities to occupy before I venture off to the emerald isle.
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