Well here it is and I will be states side in 4 days and counting. I can't wait, but I am a wee bit sad to leave this town. Its great. But I am dying to get back to Montana and see family and friends.
I must say I am thankful for all of you who put your 2 cents into my blog. Its weird knowing that what you think and feel is being read by others, but its so nice to get words of encouragement from those around you. I am truly blessed with some of the best friends and family a girl could ask for. And I guess that is worth a lot more than any dollar or currency. I once told my parents (when they were stressing about their debt) that I didn't care if we were homeless as long as we were all together and loved each other deeply I would be happy. And I think that holds true today. I guess being homeless wouldn't be so bad, because I know that I have love and God on my side, and that makes for a powerful team.
I also heard an interesting message in church this morning. Andrew was using the story of Joseph to demonstrate his sermon and he kept asking 'are you living your wildest dream or your worst nightmare?' Well that got me thinking....I AM living my wildest dream (0r one of them) by being here in Ireland. And then Andrew continued by saying that like Joseph things will get rough.... you can live your wildest dream but at times it may seem like your worst nightmare. And I guess that is where I am at now...a low point what seems like my worst nightmare but really and truly its my wildest dream. So this is a shout out to all you who have encouraged me and supported me! Thanx!
Also in other news Clementine has continued to make more Brilliant contacts in the world! I met my hero and roll model Hillary Clinton. I also met Gerry Adams and Martin McGuinness. So this year alone I have met all 3 presidents of the EU (one who is prime minister of Ireland...what they call the Taoiseach) So I feel on top of the world to say the least. Life is good money or none!
Again thanks for all your love and support no matter how far away we are!
29.8.04
23.8.04
Money Matters
Yes I am here...I know many of you (if anyone really reads this) thought I may have dropped off the face of the earth, but alas I am here. Life has been boring to say the least, but there have been moments of excitement to curtail the bordom. Like last week there was a flood in Derry and the city centre was flooded with 3 feet of water. The bar I have worked in all summer closed and is still in rennovation processes due to flood damage (17 ft H2O in the basement). Then the week before the Chinese resturant next to a local pub exploded at 9:15 in the morning due to a gas leak. So that was kinda crazy.
But more than anything life seems to be getting crazy at the moment. Due to the flood I have been out of work a week early and will make a £100 less than I should have. So that sucks. And I have all sorts of fees to pay... nothing too extream just a credit card bill, a plane ticket back to Ireland, and a fee for changing the date of my out bound journey. A minor $1000 or so....right....minor when you know you have an income. And to top things off my student visa expires the 30th of Sept, and it is too late for me to apply for an extension, and when I return I won't be granted a new student visa due to "Ireland" not being the same country as "Northern Ireland" So pretty much I have to spend more money to visit a friend in Paris or Germany just to get a valid student visa which will allow me to work. I just wish I could sit back and relax. And just enjoy the view...but I can't I have to stay one step a head. I feel like I should be like other 24-25 year olds and have a stable job/income, and not going to college.
It would also help if everyone here wasn't so ignorant. Like I finally got the guts to ask for some financial assitance from the Support office, and then was belittled asking how I expected to fund my education with only a £3000 budget. I just wish this all would get cleared up and I would somehow just have a couple grand in my bank acount no strings attached. Wouldn't that be nice. I am sick of being in debt(which is unfortunately a permanent reality for me) and I am sick of people thinking that ALL Americans are rich!
Some of us aren't and have to fight to get what we want and dream of. I feel like I am drowning and have to tread water to stay alive. But the longer I tread the more tired I get. And the more tired I am the less I want to try. I am inclined to just give up throw up my hands and throw the towel in....and gracefully walk away while my dignity is still in tact. Like the British marathon runner who just had to quit at the 36km. That is exactly how I feel. I just want to quit at the 36km when there are only 4 remaining. I am sick of fighting this fight, and I am sick of following the financial pattern of my family. I want to be financially stable and independant. Debt free, or at least debt controlled.
I guess there isn't much that can be done other than keep my head high and hope and pray that I am doing god's will.
Thats me signing off.
But more than anything life seems to be getting crazy at the moment. Due to the flood I have been out of work a week early and will make a £100 less than I should have. So that sucks. And I have all sorts of fees to pay... nothing too extream just a credit card bill, a plane ticket back to Ireland, and a fee for changing the date of my out bound journey. A minor $1000 or so....right....minor when you know you have an income. And to top things off my student visa expires the 30th of Sept, and it is too late for me to apply for an extension, and when I return I won't be granted a new student visa due to "Ireland" not being the same country as "Northern Ireland" So pretty much I have to spend more money to visit a friend in Paris or Germany just to get a valid student visa which will allow me to work. I just wish I could sit back and relax. And just enjoy the view...but I can't I have to stay one step a head. I feel like I should be like other 24-25 year olds and have a stable job/income, and not going to college.
It would also help if everyone here wasn't so ignorant. Like I finally got the guts to ask for some financial assitance from the Support office, and then was belittled asking how I expected to fund my education with only a £3000 budget. I just wish this all would get cleared up and I would somehow just have a couple grand in my bank acount no strings attached. Wouldn't that be nice. I am sick of being in debt(which is unfortunately a permanent reality for me) and I am sick of people thinking that ALL Americans are rich!
Some of us aren't and have to fight to get what we want and dream of. I feel like I am drowning and have to tread water to stay alive. But the longer I tread the more tired I get. And the more tired I am the less I want to try. I am inclined to just give up throw up my hands and throw the towel in....and gracefully walk away while my dignity is still in tact. Like the British marathon runner who just had to quit at the 36km. That is exactly how I feel. I just want to quit at the 36km when there are only 4 remaining. I am sick of fighting this fight, and I am sick of following the financial pattern of my family. I want to be financially stable and independant. Debt free, or at least debt controlled.
I guess there isn't much that can be done other than keep my head high and hope and pray that I am doing god's will.
Thats me signing off.
9.8.04
Thoughts
So I was at work Saturday night and was tired and grumpy, with a migrane on top. I started thinking...and I had a great idea for a blog, but then I woke up yesterday still tired and not so grumpy and couldn't remember. Now its Monday and I still can't remember this great blog topic. Maybe tonight at work I'll remember.
Lets see I don't know what to say here on this ever so interesting blog. I had a busy week last week I went to Galway, then was back for 2 days (worked) left for Belfast on Wed and Dublin on Thurs. and returned to Derry for work on Friday. Whew just talking about it nearly exhausts me. Life is good here. I just am working and now starting to begin my dissertation. I go home in 3 weeks and am quite excited for another journey back to the States, this one thankfully will be longer and more diverse. I start in Denver to visit the sister. Then drive to Montana for Hillary's weddng (www.hillandmick.com) then will fly to Seattle and celebrate the big 25 with my friends there. Then shortly after I hit that mid-20's mark I fly back to Ireland to finish that dissertation and figure out what the future holds for me.
I know this isn't a profound insightful blog, rather an update. Oh well. I'm not using my brain today...its on holidays.
Lets see I don't know what to say here on this ever so interesting blog. I had a busy week last week I went to Galway, then was back for 2 days (worked) left for Belfast on Wed and Dublin on Thurs. and returned to Derry for work on Friday. Whew just talking about it nearly exhausts me. Life is good here. I just am working and now starting to begin my dissertation. I go home in 3 weeks and am quite excited for another journey back to the States, this one thankfully will be longer and more diverse. I start in Denver to visit the sister. Then drive to Montana for Hillary's weddng (www.hillandmick.com) then will fly to Seattle and celebrate the big 25 with my friends there. Then shortly after I hit that mid-20's mark I fly back to Ireland to finish that dissertation and figure out what the future holds for me.
I know this isn't a profound insightful blog, rather an update. Oh well. I'm not using my brain today...its on holidays.
26.7.04
Comments
So my sister has a blog (http://hmmthatsinteresting.blogspot.com ) and I have been too lazy to put a link to it however, her blog about Helena not being home made me think. It all started with the comment I left her:
Sister of mine, you have moved into the world of social behaviour! I am so proud of you! j/k. Glad to see you are following the natural progression of growing up...Helena isn't home, its where you grew up, where your memories are. It isn't even comfortable, its soothing... knowing that it will always be there even if you move. So keep growing exploring and plant seed everywhere...someday they'll grow into roots and you'll stay planted.
It got me thinking. How did I grow out of Helena, or better yet, did I grow out of Helena? Maybe it was Helena that grew up and not me...but due to observation I doubt that. My dad once said something to me and I think for many it holds true "Helena sucks so bad, it will suck you right back." Fortunately for me I have never been back for over 3 months at a go, but that doesn't mean that I don't miss it. Living 3000 miles away has made me remember what I do love about MT, and why I love going back. Moutains, snow, forrests, fresh air, sun, beautiful sunsets. All of those things are memories I have, with each word I can think of a happy memory, and that is why its good to go back to Helena. What kid from Helena hasn't experienced the Parrot, or the Ox? You say those words and any true Helenan has some memory if not many memories of that place. It great.
But now I think and reflect to my current life, my home since I was 18 has been Seattle, Galway Ireland, San Diego, Derry Ireland, and I am sure there may be a few more before my roots grow and keep me stationary. I am not anticipating where that will be, I know God has plans and its my job to follow, and that is just what I have been doing. But the one constant that remains is Helena and my friends and family. The one thing I long for most (well 2 things) are friends/family and Montana. Its in my heart and in my soul. It has made me the person I am today and for that I am thankful, but its now my time to venture out into this wild world and create a home for my children to be that will someday be there place of soothing, and serenity. Until then, I hope my adventures continue to occur.
Sister of mine, you have moved into the world of social behaviour! I am so proud of you! j/k. Glad to see you are following the natural progression of growing up...Helena isn't home, its where you grew up, where your memories are. It isn't even comfortable, its soothing... knowing that it will always be there even if you move. So keep growing exploring and plant seed everywhere...someday they'll grow into roots and you'll stay planted.
It got me thinking. How did I grow out of Helena, or better yet, did I grow out of Helena? Maybe it was Helena that grew up and not me...but due to observation I doubt that. My dad once said something to me and I think for many it holds true "Helena sucks so bad, it will suck you right back." Fortunately for me I have never been back for over 3 months at a go, but that doesn't mean that I don't miss it. Living 3000 miles away has made me remember what I do love about MT, and why I love going back. Moutains, snow, forrests, fresh air, sun, beautiful sunsets. All of those things are memories I have, with each word I can think of a happy memory, and that is why its good to go back to Helena. What kid from Helena hasn't experienced the Parrot, or the Ox? You say those words and any true Helenan has some memory if not many memories of that place. It great.
But now I think and reflect to my current life, my home since I was 18 has been Seattle, Galway Ireland, San Diego, Derry Ireland, and I am sure there may be a few more before my roots grow and keep me stationary. I am not anticipating where that will be, I know God has plans and its my job to follow, and that is just what I have been doing. But the one constant that remains is Helena and my friends and family. The one thing I long for most (well 2 things) are friends/family and Montana. Its in my heart and in my soul. It has made me the person I am today and for that I am thankful, but its now my time to venture out into this wild world and create a home for my children to be that will someday be there place of soothing, and serenity. Until then, I hope my adventures continue to occur.
21.7.04
Anger strikes
So today I just found out I don't get my deposit from the house I rented this year, because the boys I lived with destroyed it before the moved out. The fire place in the sitting room was torn from the wall, and the fire extinguishers were all emptied, and they stole the kitchen table. On top of that there is an outstanding electric bill that I refuse to pay. I am exasperated to say the least, and that mixed with home sickness just makes me want to jump on a plane tomorrow and go home. I know in Helena I would have a job that would allow me to save my money, and here I am always broke. I am supposed to go to Galway next weekend, but have no clue how I will ever get the money for it since my hours have been reduced at the bar. I know I am wining but I can't help it, I am so frustrated. Just when things start to look good some big dark cloud comes and makes them seem so impossible. I know money isn't everything, and that I have never been let down, but things just seem so hard right now. I will quit sulking now.
Oh yeah...Anthony who are you? Do I know you?
Oh yeah...Anthony who are you? Do I know you?
15.7.04
Short and Sweet
I know that doesn't sound like me, but I am in a hurry. I am doing a Vacation Bible school type thing here in Derry this week and its tons of fun. Nevermind the cold I am getting and the working insane hours at the bar as well, but whatever that is all fluff. :) So my life this week has been endless and alas I have to leave again to make it up to our teen program tonight. I am still looking forward to going home, but the more I am here the more this town has grown on me. Oh yeah the 12th went well, well all except some silly fight in Belfast, but I guess that is what happens when you combine drink and pig headed folks who can't compromise. WAHOO for stubborn drunk jackasses! Or not. Well that's me signing off.
Peace!
Peace!
11.7.04
Updates
Since someone who won't tell me their true identity has commented on my lack of updates, I feel as though I should write a bit more. I am still working TOO much, and this week am doing a Kids Week with my church here in Derry. It should be a fun sleep deprived week, geez, I forgot what sleep deprivation truely was. WAHOO! Well I am at just the begining, and I have a feeling that come next week I am just gonna crash.
I wish I had some juicy gossip to share about my life but I don't. I highlighted my hair so now I have light brown hair (not dark brown) I still have no prospects on the guy thing...but that is over rated.
And now I am just counting down the weeks until I get to come home and relax for a month. (only 6 weeks and counting). So that is my uneventful life. The 12th of July parades are tomorrow ( SCARY!!! ) but oh well...I am not involved, I just hope they go on without a hitch. Oh yeah the Ulster Final is today, but no news on the results.
I wish I had some juicy gossip to share about my life but I don't. I highlighted my hair so now I have light brown hair (not dark brown) I still have no prospects on the guy thing...but that is over rated.
And now I am just counting down the weeks until I get to come home and relax for a month. (only 6 weeks and counting). So that is my uneventful life. The 12th of July parades are tomorrow ( SCARY!!! ) but oh well...I am not involved, I just hope they go on without a hitch. Oh yeah the Ulster Final is today, but no news on the results.
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