27.1.04

Friendship

Why are goodbyes so stinkin' hard?!?! It's like losing a part of yourself into an abyss of nothing, uncertainty, and sadness. Starting from scratch but not willing or wanting to fill the void of one friendship with another. What can you do to control the sadness that occurs when you walk by that friends house? How do you react when you go to ring them and you realize they won't answer? Is it possible to cope when you have something funny happen to you and they aren't there to share the moment with you? What can you do to move on when you are used to spending every waking (and some sleeping) moment with one another? Once you find a friend that compliments you so well how do you move on?

Making and maintaining friends is a process that should be a familiar one to me. Since I have lived in 5 cities, 2 countries, and traveled most of the EU all since I was 18. But, each time I say goodbye to these friends it seems all that much more difficult. Yes, I can get through almost any situation, be it a travel mishap or a housemate issue, but this friendship thing is a killer.

In an ideal world I would be able to have all my friends, that I have acquired over time, live in one place where we could always see each other and utilize our friendships as need be. There would be no more goodbyes, no more tears, and no more contemplating when and how you will see one another again. Moving away is like dying...somehow a part of you is missing, maybe not permanently but the sense of loss is always there.

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