Things are working out

Yeah so I was bitter my last blog. I had a huge onslaught of things happen that forced me to not be the 'happy' girl I usually am. I have recovered and realized that sometimes life is not to be taken seriously.

I am on a break from work now, which is much needed and wanted. I am doing a girls night with some friends tomorrow and then camping at Elk Horn Hot springs. Oh I can't wait to not think about work or drama. It will be so refreshing. Hopefully it gives me what I need to have a clear head and revived spirit. God knows I need it.

I must say thank you to my friends.

Supang-what must I forgive you for? You are a star and I am so sad I haven't been able to see you in the last year. I wish you the best for your future, the football thing will workout I have no doubt, just keep your head high.

If it were not for my gazillion friends in this world I don't think that I would be so positive. Its the little things that keep me smiling, you keep me motivated and running.

So life is on the up and up, which is a bonus. I am trying to figure out what and where life will lead but it will be clear sometime soon I am sure!

Growing Pains

As I sat in a bar tonight listening to some quality Chicago Blues I got thinking about growing up. How it sucks and how its just part of life. I started to wonder about the validity of a 'true love' and the rediculousness of dating and relationships. Yes I know I sound bitter, however I have dealt with more bull shit on the relationship end of things (personally and as a sounding board) than I care to deal with. I am sick of going somewhere and the first thing out of my girlfriends mouths is something about the boy in their life. I go out with my guy friends (which are few and far between in Helena) and they bitch about the girl in their life. I just wish people could be content with the choices in their lives. Be greatful for what they have. And quit trying to find the greener grass on the other side.

This venting comes from an aray of thoughts...recently found out some more friends are getting married. Also found out that some friends parents are getting divorced due to unfaithfulness in the relationship. WTF people?!?! Seriously, I don't get it. Thus far I am lucky and can say that none of my friends who were married early on in life have been divorced, and I HOPE to God it stays that way. But I really wonder. If someone is going to make the choice to be with another can't they stay committed.

I don't know where this is going...just venting I guess. That said...I'm done before I say something stupid.

Relationships

I have come to realize relationships are a pain. Whether on a platonic level or a more in depth emotional level. Either way they are draining tough and sometimes just a pain in the ass. I say all this because I recently have encountered EVERY possible combination of relationships in the last couple weeks. I feel as though a relationship can't be had with out the mad drama attached. And I don't deal well with personal drama. (only the kind on stage that you can leave after 2 hours) I have realized I get so invested in my friends lives, often times so much so that I get stressed for them. I have had more mild headaches and back aches in the last couple weeks than I have had since college. And damn its a pain. I have also had to really practice my LISTENING skills, and as some of you may or may not know, that is damn hard for me. I have also taken the roll of bad cop to many folks that I care about. And right now I am about to just throw up my hands and say "Screw it, do it your way and don't come to me for help because you don't listen anyway."

But then I start to contemplate my own life and where its going. Its the first time I think I have EVER thought about settling, staying stationary, growing up for real. And in my mind that includes another person to share my joys and sorrows. Unfortunately I patience is not a quality that I embrace readily. I am much more of an instant gratification girl. Its also hard to find out my place in this world. I am in love with Ireland, deeply in love. However Helena has some how captured me as well. I have been on the move for the last 6.5 years and am now starting to realize that perhaps I need to just stop, listen, enjoy. All of which are hard for me. However, I am growing...still learning. I just have to take risks in a place that is scary. Being far away its ok and easy to take risks since I don't know everyone. But being in my hometown, knowing a lot of folks, folks who have known me for a majority of my life, its tough to want to take those risks.

Again I'll just have to see where live leads me. Its dangerous and scary, but I guess that is where excitement comes in life...its the relationships you build and break that make you who you are.

Work and Play

Since my last blog, life has been crazy. Work is work and is tons of fun. I do truly enjoy every aspect of my job, well all but the L Love. What is the L Love? you ask. The L Love is the love passed down by my superior when I mess up. So instead of referring to it as a lecture its L Love. But the L Love is at a minimum these days, so that is good.

Went to the Governor's Ball last night. It was so much fun. I got ready with the girls, then went to dinner with my date and his family. I must say he is a good sport to put up with my random requests. I don' t know many men who would get in a photo with 4 women (of various ages) and lie at their feet. But everyone looked DASHING! Ball gowns and all. However I do believe that I may have to amputate my feet in the not so distant future, but pain is beauty right?!?

Unfortunately I don't have much insight at the moment. Life has been kind of hectic so I have been investing my energy into others lives and relationships. So writing about it all seems redundant, although it could be a good read. (I am actually saving the story to create a Dawson's Creek type drama) So that is life at the moment.