Yes I am here...I know many of you (if anyone really reads this) thought I may have dropped off the face of the earth, but alas I am here. Life has been boring to say the least, but there have been moments of excitement to curtail the bordom. Like last week there was a flood in Derry and the city centre was flooded with 3 feet of water. The bar I have worked in all summer closed and is still in rennovation processes due to flood damage (17 ft H2O in the basement). Then the week before the Chinese resturant next to a local pub exploded at 9:15 in the morning due to a gas leak. So that was kinda crazy.
But more than anything life seems to be getting crazy at the moment. Due to the flood I have been out of work a week early and will make a £100 less than I should have. So that sucks. And I have all sorts of fees to pay... nothing too extream just a credit card bill, a plane ticket back to Ireland, and a fee for changing the date of my out bound journey. A minor $1000 or so....right....minor when you know you have an income. And to top things off my student visa expires the 30th of Sept, and it is too late for me to apply for an extension, and when I return I won't be granted a new student visa due to "Ireland" not being the same country as "Northern Ireland" So pretty much I have to spend more money to visit a friend in Paris or Germany just to get a valid student visa which will allow me to work. I just wish I could sit back and relax. And just enjoy the view...but I can't I have to stay one step a head. I feel like I should be like other 24-25 year olds and have a stable job/income, and not going to college.
It would also help if everyone here wasn't so ignorant. Like I finally got the guts to ask for some financial assitance from the Support office, and then was belittled asking how I expected to fund my education with only a £3000 budget. I just wish this all would get cleared up and I would somehow just have a couple grand in my bank acount no strings attached. Wouldn't that be nice. I am sick of being in debt(which is unfortunately a permanent reality for me) and I am sick of people thinking that ALL Americans are rich!
Some of us aren't and have to fight to get what we want and dream of. I feel like I am drowning and have to tread water to stay alive. But the longer I tread the more tired I get. And the more tired I am the less I want to try. I am inclined to just give up throw up my hands and throw the towel in....and gracefully walk away while my dignity is still in tact. Like the British marathon runner who just had to quit at the 36km. That is exactly how I feel. I just want to quit at the 36km when there are only 4 remaining. I am sick of fighting this fight, and I am sick of following the financial pattern of my family. I want to be financially stable and independant. Debt free, or at least debt controlled.
I guess there isn't much that can be done other than keep my head high and hope and pray that I am doing god's will.
Thats me signing off.
4 comments:
Yaaayyy! Clem's coming to visit! Let me know when you'll be in Seattle - I'll probably be visiting MT sometime in Sept to hang out with my seester, so maybe I'll catch you there too!
Jaun Anderson =P
NUMBER 1. remember your #1-da
This commentary comes from Uncle Andy.
Hi Clem,
I'm glad to hear you are up to your armpits in...well...life! Here is an intersting pespective for ya'. When I was living in Mexico I got an email from a good friend, Tom, in Seattle. He sells for MetLife. He generally earns around $80,000 a year, owns two rental properties and his own house. So I get this email from him and he is lamenting about his miserable life...about how it's the same drudgery insurance sales and he says something like "Well Andy I was laying on the couch and started(ongoing) wondering what my life was all about and that I should be doing some great, exciting, adventurous thing in the world like Andy is doing." So here is this friend of mine Clem who has a great income and who I feel should have no worries yet is not happy with his life and admires more what I'm doing than his own accomplishments. And yet as I received his email I had actually been thinking about how I ought to return to the U.S. and establish some financial stablity like my friend Tom. I was actually getting bored with Mexico. Isn't it interesting Clem how we tend to look outside our own lives and believe what others are doing as greater than what we are doing, when in fact each of us is doing our own great thing. My friend's email to me made me stop and think. He was looking up to me and complimenting me and didn't even know it. Don't forget to pat yourself on the back sometimes Clem, you've achieved some huge things in yourlife and I commend you for that.
I was about an hour from the U.S. border during my return to Gringolandia. The sun was setting, silhouetting a range of mountians in the distance. I had just left a roadside restaurant where I had had a one hour conversation with a number of people there. We talked about many things and we talked fast. The moment I saw that sunset, it hit me! An intense wave of emotion. I was still going over the converstaion in Spanish in my mind. I realized that I had just accomplished something extraordinary. I was now fluent in Spanish! I stopped my van at a scenic overlook(strewn with trash), standing on the edge of the road, the sun setting, I took a huge breath and exclaimed, " Andy You Rock dude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I commended myself. Be sure you do this once in a while, because, it's OK and....
Clem, you rock!!!! Keep on keepin on!
And one more thing, work on getting a feeling of how you are going to change your financial picture and don't focus on the debt. Debt happens and is not changed by lamenting. And even though you feel you have to stay one step ahead, find a way to relax and enjoy the view...
With love,
Andy
Clem, you know that I am the biggest critic when it comes to debt.
“NO DEBT IS NOT INEVITABLE”
I lived in a car at one point, in down town Seattle to accomplish my goals, and now look at were I am. Debt free and almost own my house outright. I probably should send this to you privately so everyone does not see me as an ass but that just not my style. Get off your High horse and quit complaining darling. Remember those kids in California, do you really believe that they would not trade their impoverished lives for yours in a heartbeat. Life is hard, it is supposed to be that way. You are young, you are healthy, and you have the greatest family and more friends than you can shake a stick at. Most importantly you have two friends me included that will always call it as we see it and kick you butt when you need it. You have seen and been places that most will never see, experienced things no other 25 year old will experience. Get over it! You know that I love you, so carry on buckle down and persevere. I never said saving the world would be easy. After you read this grab your bills off the counter tear them up go outside look at a sunset and take the time to reflect on all things good. Life is wonderful, “live it” and all things good will find you, in due time.
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